Conversations Among Friends
sequel to One-sided Conversation
Four pair of eyes turned to look at Simon Banks. He looked back at them with mild amusement. "You heard the man," he drawled, "if we’d been paying attention we would have found that statement hours ago."
"Instead of having to listen to Ellison fuss over his partner," Brown chortled.
"Yeah, you’d think he had nothing better to do that look after that kid," Rafe said with a grin.
"What a smuck," Megan teased.
"Just be glad it’s not you," Simon reminded them. "Jim coddles that kid. How would you like having to rearrange your whole life to accommodate someone else."
"Someone who is constantly there," Joel added. "It must be hard on Jim to have Blair underfoot all the time, worrying about him, taking care of him." Taggart frowned, cocking his head to the side when confronted with the enormity of it all.
"I wouldn’t like it," Rafe informed them. "I mean Jim comes home after a hard day to what? mess and Sandburg."
"But he cooks," Joel reminded them. "He is one fantastic cook."
Murmurs of agreement met that statement. They’d all sampled Sandburg’s cooking and come away wanting more of it.
"You know," Brown said quietly, "he’s good to talk to when you have a problem too." Nodding heads greeted his words. "He knows just what to say when you’re down."
"Jim hates to talk," Simon said, "it must drive him crazy having to put up with Sandburg’s endless lectures." He shook his head, adding, "poor Jim." He fell silent, images of Blair quietly talking to his partner springing to mind. No one but him knew how Jim relied on Blair’s voice, his presence to anchor him.
"Of course," Megan said softly, "Blair’s really good with Jim’s temper." Everyone mumbled agreement with that. "He seems so attuned to Jim…..I bet that’s nice."
"Yeah, but still," Rafe said, "would you want someone in your face all the time. Even if they could cook great and understood your problems. Come on, guys. It would be hell to have one person so intimate to your personality, your moods, your needs......" He trailed off, a wistful look in his eyes.
Megan stared off into space, wondering what it would feel like to have someone that close. Joel sighed, missing his late wife for the millionth time. Simon drummed his fingers on the table, remembering Joan’s smile in the morning. Rafe shared a disappinted glance with Henri, both well aware they’d never even come close to that kind of commitment.
"Who’d want that," Simon whispered.
"Not me," Rafe and Brown said quietly.
"Not me," Joel echoed but his heart wasn’t in it.
"Not me," Megan lied to herself.
"Me neither." Simon closed the file and rose from his chair.
"I’m heading home." He knew an empty apartment waited, one which had no one in it to take care of, no one counting on him, waiting to welcome him home.
"Home," Joel said, forcing a light tone. His cramped apartment held only memories.
"Big night," Rafe smirked, praying no one saw him head out with the laundry basket.
"Me, too," Henri said. There was a Jackie Chan festival running on TNT he wanted to catch.
"Aren’t we lucky?" Megan asked with s strained smile. "I for one wouldn’t want to come home to some poor soul who wasn’t feeling well. No, my days of being needed like that are over. I’m my own person and I do what I want all alone."
The word echoed hollowly, bouncing off the walls and slapping each person their in the face. Alone. All alone. No one waiting, no one who needed them, no one who listened when they spoke, laughed when they joked, cried when they hurt. Not like poor Jim Ellison……..lucky bastard that he was.