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Two Weeks and Counting
by Rebecca Mitchell (armgb@hotmail.com)
Pairing: Q/O
Rating: PG-13
categories: A/U, romance
Spoilers: Minor ones for Jedi Apprentice #2
Archive: M_A, OKEB, anyone else please ask
Feedback: Please with chocolate covered Jedi.
Disclaimer: Star Wars is owned by George Lucas and LucasFilm. This story is for fan enjoyment only and is not intended to infringe on that copyright.
Summary: Two weeks after "Happy Beginnings", Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan wish to initiate a lifebond.
Notes: I am reading "Angela's Ashes" and I needed something lighter.
"Do you know what day today is?" Obi-Wan asked Qui-Gon.
Qui-Gon's mouth was full of oatmeal. Instead of answering verbally he raised his eyebrow at his Padawan as if asking the younger man why he chose to ask a question while Qui-Gon's mouth was full.
Obi-Wan smiled impishly, but remained silent until Qui-Gon had swallowed.
"I do," Qui-Gon's voice was serious and he fought to keep the nervousness out of his voice.
"Two weeks. You promised me that if I still wished to bond with you in two weeks, that you would agree to ask the Council for permission," Obi-Wan's voice was also serious. The impishness that was naturally a part of him had vanished.
"I did," Qui-Gon agreed. He wanted to bond with Obi-Wan as much as the young man wanted to bond with him, but he was still hesitant. He wanted nothing more than to keep Obi-Wan by his side forever, to see his Padawan's grin every morning when he opened his eyes. After years of celibacy that had only ended two weeks before, he wanted to feel the physical pleasures of a committed relationship. He wanted to feel Obi-Wan through a strong lifebond instead of the comparatively weak Master-Apprentice bond. He wanted to continue to watch Obi-Wan grow and mature and to protect him from the dangers all Jedi faced.
Qui-Gon only hesitated because his desires were not his main concern. Master Windu had once told Qui-Gon that the definition of true love was to care about the well-being of another more than your own well-being. At the time, Master Windu had been gently trying to show Qui-Gon that his interest in another was lust rather than love. This time Qui-Gon really did value Obi-Wan's well-being above his own. He had a responsibility to the younger man as his Master, but he also had a personal interest in him. He would rather remain alone for the rest of his life and watch Obi-Wan walk out of his life than to risk harming his Padawan. He could not forgive himself if they bonded and the bond harmed Obi-Wan.
"I wish to bond with thee, Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan stated the formal request, for once calling the older man by his given name. In this Qui-Gon must not be his Master. "I have meditated for two weeks on this question. I have sought the will of the Force. I have read the texts on the bonding. I know what it entails. I know that it can bring not only joy, but pain. I know what I might be asked to endure by bonding with you. I still wish to bond with thee and I believe that it is the will of the Force."
"I know of your mediations. I would bond with thee, Obi-Wan if thou truly wishes. I have examined my own feelings and sought guidance from the Force. I wish nothing more than to bond with you. I must be sure of your feelings," Qui-Gon told him painfully. This conversation was not easy.
Obi-Wan looked at him confused. Had Qui-Gon accepted or not? "I am no longer a child. I am an adult. I have told you that I am sure of my feelings. How might I prove my feelings to you?"
"The Council will examine our bond as Master and Padawan and our own souls to determine whether to allow the bond. Only Masters Windu and Yoda are qualified to do this examination. However, I do have the knowledge to conduct a less intense examination. I will need you to open yourself up to me completely. If we do initiate the lifebond such openness will become a part of us," Qui-Gon explained. "Afterwards, I will open myself up to you."
"I trust you," Obi-Wan said quietly, with conviction.
Breakfast lay ignored on the table. Qui-Gon placed his hand on Obi-Wan's cheek. Physical contact was not absolutely necessary, but it helped center him. /Open yourself up to me. Trust me with your thoughts./
Despite his desire for the bond, Obi-Wan hesitated for a second. Then slowly he let the barriers fall. Qui-Gon could feel the love radiating from Obi-Wan. The pureness of the love caused him to draw in his breath. Obi-Wan had a tendency towards ambition and fear, but none of that was present in his feelings towards Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan had always been willing to challenge Obi-Wan and argue with him, but behind those challenges was complete trust and loyalty.
Images floated to the surface.
#The first time Qui-Gon called him Padawan.#
#Qui-Gon caring for him after Obi-Wan had been badly injured in an attack.#
#A light saber practice session when Obi-Wan had managed to relieve Qui-Gon of his lightsaber.#
#Qui-Gon defending Obi-Wan from taunts by other Padawans.#
#Their first night together as lovers.#
/You do realize that I am just a man./ Qui-Gon thought through the bond.
/I know./ Obi-Wan responded.
#Qui-Gon planning to send Obi-Wan away to become a farmer.#
#Qui-Gon defying the Council.#
#Qui-Gon making Obi-Wan wait two weeks before discussing initiating the bond.#
/Imp/ Qui-Gon laughed.
/Just seeing if you were paying attention./ Obi-Wan responded mentally. /I would not want you to get too complacent./
/That is not likely with you always with me./ Qui-Gon said.
The joy from Obi-Wan was unmistakable. /Do you agree to ask the Council to approve our bond?/
/I do. If you still wish to after what you see./ Qui-Gon allowed his own shields to fall and showed Obi-Wan thinks he had never shared with another.
#Qui-Gon as a young Padawan being scolded by Master Yoda.#
#Qui-Gon's anguish at Xanatos' betrayal.#
#His mixed reaction to Obi-Wan when he first met the boy.#
#His fear of Obi-Wan dying in the mines.#
#His joy at watching Obi-Wan learn.#
#His desire for Obi-Wan and determination to protect Obi-Wan's interests at all costs.#
/I wish to bond with thee/ Obi-Wan's statement was firm and loving.
/Then we shall ask the Council for its blessing./ Qui-Gon responded and then broke contact.
"I have asked for the audience of the Council because I have a request that only you can grant. Obi-Wan and I wish to initiate a lifebond," Qui-Gon said, scared of what he and his Padawan would do if the Council refused. Obi-Wan wanted to bond regardless, but Qui-Gon hoped it would not be necessary. He did not want Obi-Wan to give up his dream of being a Jedi Knight and for all his maverick tendencies he was afraid to truly alienate the Council.
"Wish such a bond you do," Yoda said seriously, but there was humor in his eyes.
"I do," Qui-Gon responded.
"Wish such a bond does your Padawan?" Yoda asked.
"I do," Obi-Wan looked Master Yoda in the eye almost defiantly.
"Completed the premediations, you have?" Master Yoda asked.
"Yes," both answered in unison.
"We will witness the bond," Master Windu said exchanging a look with Yoda. "Open your minds to us and do not hold anything back. Anything we sense beyond our verdict will be forgotten after the examination."
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan exchanged a look of mutual support and then lowered their shields.
Time was meaningless as Master Windu and Master Yoda examined them. Even during the examination the two could feel the other one giving them strength. Finally reality returned.
"I, Master Windu, witness that Master Qui-Gon Jinn and Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi have the permission of the Jedi Council to lifebond. Their bond is the equal wish of both men and is the will of the Force," Master Windu stated.
"I, Master Yoda, witness the bond between Master Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi," Yoda said.
Obi-Wan tried to contain his shock at Yoda's speech before realizing that Yoda was reciting a traditional phrase.
"As neither of you have any pressing responsibilities beyond the training of Padawan Kenobi, the bonding will take place today. Tomorrow you will report to the Council at noon and we will witness that the bond has been successful," Master Windu proclaimed.
"Thank you. And if we might take the Council's leave so that you can return to other business," Qui-Gon said. His tone was formal, but he thanked Masters Windu and Yoda with his eyes.
"The Council grants you leave," Master Windu said smiling slightly. Granting a bonding was one of the most special duties of the Council and one rarely performed.
Once in Qui-Gon's quarters, the two finally regained their ability to speak.
"I do not know how long this bond will take to form. Since we already have a bond as Master and Padawan, it should not be difficult, but I am told that it can be intense. We must take it slowly," Qui-Gon said.
Obi-Wan nodded. Then his control slipped and he found himself bouncing twice as if he was still a child. "They approved."
Qui-Gon smiled indulgently, touched by Obi-Wan's enthusiasm. "They approved."
Qui-Gon led Obi-Wan over to the mediation mats and they both kneeled. Obi-Wan placed his hand on Qui-Gon's cheek and Qui-Gon placed his on Obi-Wan's.
As the Master, Qui-Gon took the lead. Both men lowered their shields. Qui-Gon reached into Obi-Wan's mind allowing himself to become part of Obi-Wan. For a timeless moment they were both Obi-Wan and the younger man's thoughts were both their thoughts. Then, Obi-Wan instinctively reached into Qui-Gon's mind and for a timeless moment they were both Qui-Gon. His thoughts were both of their thoughts and they were one being. Their midi-chlorians synchronized and the synchronization reminded both men of beautiful music. There was much about the midi-chlorians that the Jedi still did not understand, but both men felt as if their midi-chlorians were pleased by the bond.
Knowing that such a close symbiosis, even between lifebonded Jedi, could only lead to madness, Qui-Gon guided Obi-Wan back into his own mind. Once again they were two men, Master Qui-Gon Jinn and Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi. Their thoughts were their own thoughts.
Both men took a deep breath exhausted from the joining only to realize that they were still connected. The connection was less than during the joining and with practice they would be able to partially shield their thoughts, but they did not need the Council to tell them that the lifebond was present and healthy.
"We did it," Obi-Wan whispered. "We did it."
Qui-Gon felt tears in his eyes at the wonder and love in Obi-Wan's voice and at his own joy at being bonded to Obi-Wan. After so long, his greatest wish had been realized. The pleasure that rushed through him scared him in its intensity. He did not remember ever being so content.
/It is only the beginning./ Obi-Wan's voice sounded in his mind.
/The beginning./ Qui-Gon thought contentedly. He looked longingly at the bed and Obi-Wan understood. Obi-Wan had not wished to lifebond with Qui-Gon solely to have sex, he could have sex without the bond, but he was a healthy young man and the pleasures of the flesh appealed to him.
Qui-Gon was also looking forward to the added intimacy of the bond. Contrary to the assumptions of many of the Padawans, desire did not disappear with age. Knowing that the intensity of their intimacy would increase with the lifebond, he was determined to take it slowly and shivered in anticipation. He pulled Obi-Wan to him for a moment simply enjoying the feel of the young man in his arms. Then he leaned forward and kissed Obi-Wan fully on the mouth, cursing his height that could make kissing awkward while standing up.
As the shorter one, the kiss was less awkward for Obi-Wan. He opened his mouth willingly, but soon his own desires flared and he became more insistent. Already he could feel the difference from the lifebond. He wanted nothing more than to move immediately to the bed and feel the difference the bond would make in sex, but he also knew that it was too soon.
"You are overdressed, Master," Obi-Wan said resorting to his usual address for the older man. He did not view Qui-Gon as a teacher at the moment, although he knew that the older man had much to teach him, but he still called Qui-Gon Master in his mind. Jedi training was all-encompassing.
"As are you," Qui-Gon's voice was almost a growl. He pulled away from Obi-Wan intent on removing the young man's robe. He longed to feel skin against skin. Already he could feel the heat rising within himself and in the young man.
"Now, let me undress you," Obi-Wan ordered and worked quickly until Qui-Gon was stripped to his underclothes.
The two men embraced and the sensations nearly overwhelmed both of them.
Both men were breathing hard.
"If touching is this intense, maybe we should wait before doing more," Qui-Gon said reluctantly.
Obi-Wan's disagreement could be felt through the Force. "No, we will take it slow."
"You have less experience and tend to be impatient. I will not see you hurt in any way," Qui-Gon ran his hand over Obi-Wan's cheek and down his neck leaving a trail of fire that both men could feel in his wake.
"I know. I trust you," Obi-Wan said. It was a simple statement and the truth. He did trust Qui-Gon implicitly. The older man would not hurt him. That he knew.
"And I trust you," Qui-Gon said. "Now, I think that bed looks comfortable."
Instead of responding Obi-Wan grabbed Qui-Gon and pulled him towards the bed. The two men fell on it.
"I love you," the simple statement echoed in both men's heads before the intensity of their bond blocked out everything, but their lovemaking. It was better than either man could have imagined.
"I, Master Windu, witness that Master Qui-Gon Jinn and Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi are lifebonded Jedi and that they shall remain together until death. After Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi has passed his trials and become a Jedi Knight, they will remain a pair," Master Windu announced proudly. "They will have one week to become accustomed to their bond and then they will report for assignment."
Despite being in the Council Chambers, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon Jinn grasped each others hands feeling each other through their bond. They both knew that the road they had chosen would be a challenge. They still needed to find a balance between their relationship as Master and Apprentice and as a lifebonded pair. They needed to learn to shield from others and from each other when the need arose.
They continued to face the dangerous and demanding life of the Jedi. They would never know until they became one with the Force how high the cost of their bond would be. All they did know was that they would always have each other and their love. It would be enough. In the end, love and companionship are all we have in this world.