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Pure as a Padawan
by Rebecca Mitchell (armgb@hotmail.com)
Pairing: Q/O
Rating: PG-13
Categories: humor/parody, romance
Archive: M_A, OKEB, others please ask
Summary: A couple years before TPM, Obi-Wan tries to lower his purity score. No spoilers.
DISCLAIMER: Star Wars is owned by George Lucas and LucasFilm. This story is the result of a quirky sense of humor.
*****
"Am I what?" Padawan Obi-Wan asked.
"A virgin?" Padawan S'pur asked. "There are different versions for virgins and non-virgins."
Obi-Wan sighed audibly wishing he could think of a way to get himself out of this conversation before he completely humiliated himself.
"I told you, I don't want to take this test," Obi-Wan sighed. "It has no point."
"Of course, it has a point. The point is to have fun and learn new tricks. Jedi are not required to always remain celibate," Padawan S'pur seemed to be enjoying his friend's discomfort too much. He had a wicked sense of humor and loved to find ways to get under other's skin. Obi-Wan usually appreciated the talent. It was not as much fun when he was the victim.
"Yes, I am a virgin. Now could we please get this over with," Obi-Wan said resigning himself to the inevitable.
"Don't worry, I won't look at the answers. I just want to know your score. Padawan Jaren has a 98%. She needs to get out more. Master Rhena keeps her on a short leash. Padawan Francis has a 60% on the non-virgin version. He is never going to make Knight with that score," Padawan S'pur was a gossip.
"Just give me this test," Obi-Wan's voice was tight. He had learned early that it was best to deal with unpleasantness by facing it and finishing it as quickly as possible.
"Here you are," S'pur handed him a copy of the test.
Question 1: Have you ever been in a room with someone of the opposite sex?
Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. That was easy. Yes.
Question 2: Have you ever fantasized about anyone?
Obi-Wan found himself thinking of some of his more imaginative fantasies. He could feel his hormones waking up. Definitely, yes.
Question 3: Have you ever kissed anyone with romantic intentions?
Obi-Wan blushed slightly and marked yes. He could count the number of kisses he had received and given on his right hand, but it still qualified. Relieved, he marked yes. Maybe his score would not be embarrassingly high.
Obi-Wan's optimism was short-lived. He had lived a sheltered life at the Jedi Temple. Had he ever used a mind-altering substance? No, he was smart enough to make better choices than that. Had he ever had anyone draw on him? Obi-Wan began to wonder about the writer of the test. He was not completely naïve in sexual matters and despite being a virgin knew the mechanics of sex, but did not know what pleasure anyone could get from writing on someone or being written on. Had he ever worn a dress? Not unless one considered his Jedi cloak to be a dress.
Question 30: Had you ever kissed a member of the same gender?
No, Obi-Wan looked at the question regretfully.
Question 31: Have you ever fantasized about kissing a member of the same gender?
Obi-Wan found himself blushing as he replayed one of his favorite fantasies. He could almost feel the insistent tongue in his mouth and feel his own tongue exploring.
Question 66: Have you ever had fantasies about having sex with a teacher?
This time Obi-Wan actually moaned softly. This purity test was not only embarrassing, but torture. He wanted nothing more than to walk away from the test and take a cold shower. He was going to need a long meditation session after this test.
Finally Obi-Wan finished the hundredth's question and calculated his score. He had an 80%. He had no idea whether it was respectable or not, but at the moment he felt like an incompetent, unloved child instead of a young man of 22 years old.
S'pur was amused at his score. "Does Qui-Gon keep you locked up or something?"
/If he did my score would be lower,/ Obi-Wan thought and took his leave of his friend.
Qui-Gon could feel his Padawan before the young man entered. The feelings coming from his Padawan caused him to take notice. His Padawan was annoyed, insecure, and frustrated. The frustration had a definite sexual component and Qui-Gon cringed. It was easier to teach an older Padawan than a younger one, but teaching an older Padawan had its own trials. The closeness of the Master-Padawan relationship could become awkward as the Padawan physically matured. There was a temptation for a Padawan to develop feelings for his Master, but a Master was generally able to remain aloof from his Padawan. Except in a sick bit of irony, the reserved Qui-Gon had developed definite feelings for Obi-Wan.
"Good evening," Qui-Gon greeted Obi-Wan as the young man entered the sitting room. It was traditional for Master-Padawan pairs to have a suite at the Temple. Each one had their own room and there was a shared bathroom and living room.
"Good evening," Obi-Wan said trying desperately and failing miserably to control his body and his hormones. "I am going to take a shower before meditating."
"You look like you could use it," Qui-Gon could not help commenting.
Obi-Wan looked at his Master in horror and embarrassment. Was his predicament that obvious?
"Your hair is a mess," Qui-Gon pointed out, secretly enjoying Obi-Wan's discomfort.
Obi-Wan looked relieved, unaware that his shields had slipped enough to allow Qui-Gon to sense his real reasons, and went to take a shower.
Qui-Gon tried to meditate while Obi-Wan showered, but his thoughts were troubled. He had sensed for a long time that his Padawan was sexually frustrated, but he had assumed that the young man was looking for a source for his feelings. Tonight he was beginning to wonder if his Padawan had settled on an outlet, but was falsely convinced that his Master would never be interested in pursuing a romantic relationship. Even if his feelings were reciprocated, he was hesitant to pursue a romantic relationship with Obi-Wan. The risks were high. He would not see the young man hurt.
A yelp from the shower startled him. "Obi-Wan, is everything ok in there?"
"Yes, uh, the water is just cold," Obi-Wan replied hurriedly.
Qui-Gon, safe in the knowledge that his Padawan could not see him, smiled. He had taken many cold showers himself. Through his bond he could sense that the cold shower was not working. He could feel his Padawan's frustration and raised his own shields higher to give Obi-Wan privacy.
Obi-Wan soon exited the shower and joined Qui-Gon in meditation.
A couple hours later Qui-Gon decided that it was time to go to sleep. He stood up and stretched. He noticed Obi-Wan was still meditating. He was about to suggest that his Padawan also get some sleep when he noticed that Obi-Wan was asleep.
He smiled slightly. Obi-Wan looked younger in his sleep, his earlier frustration gone.
Qui-Gon picked up Obi-Wan to carry him to his own bed. He remembered the many times he had tucked Obi-Wan into bed during their years together. It was not the first time that Obi-Wan had fallen asleep before making it to bed.
Still asleep, Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around Qui-Gon's neck.
Qui-Gon almost dropped the young man in shock when Obi-Wan kissed his neck.
/Foolish old man./ Qui-Gon scolded himself. /He is dreaming./
"Master," Obi-Wan mumbled. "Master, you taste so good."
Qui-Gon swallowed hard. Then he whispered, "Obi-Wan?"
There was no verbal response, but he could feel Obi-Wan's breathing quicken. The young man was still dreaming. He was dreaming of Qui-Gon.
Qui-Gon cursed himself. He was relieved to reach Obi-Wan's bed. His own emotions were in turmoil and he knew that it would be a troubled night.
Removing his Padawan's cloak, he pulled the blankets around Obi-Wan and tucked him in. Then, in a moment of weakness, he allowed his hand to gently brush Obi-Wan's braid off his face and run a hand across his cheek.
Dreaming, Obi-Wan mumbled, "Master."
Qui-Gon awoke shortly after dawn still feeling tired. He would need to put in some extra meditation time to make up for the lack of sleep. He set to making breakfast.
Obi-Wan awoke to the smell of coffee. He noticed he was still dressed in yesterday's clothes. Then he panicked. He remembered meditating and then nothing. What had happened? Then the dream came back to him. He had dreamed of spending a night with Qui-Gon. The dream had been so real. He could even feel his Master's arms around him, holding him gently.
"Good morning, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said cheerfully.
"Good morning, Master. Master, what happened last night? I remember meditating and then waking up a few minutes ago," Obi-Wan looked confused.
"You fell asleep while meditating. I carried you to your bed," Qui-Gon said matter-of-factly. "You probably do not remember."
Obi-Wan looked down at his feet. Qui-Gon noticed. "Obi-Wan?"
"I do not remember," Obi-Wan said blushing.
"Obi-Wan, honesty is the way of the Jedi. You are troubled," Qui-Gon's voice was serious, but there was also a note of genuine concern.
"It was strange. I was dreaming, uh, and you were in the dream, but you were not carrying me to bed. I don't know what was a dream and what was real," Obi-Wan explained still not looking at his Master. "Did I say anything?"
"You called for me," Master Qui-Gon said equally amused and uncomfortable. His heart was beating in his ears, but he had to be honest. The tension between them had gone on too long. "You said I taste good."
Obi-Wan froze and turned bright red. "I am sorry, Master. I will put in extra meditation time. I promise. I have never been good at controlling my dreams."
"Dream control is only necessary to prevent dreams from interfering with your life. Dreams in themselves need not be controlled. As Jedi, we must be tightly controlled during waking hours. We need time when we are not firmly in control," Qui-Gon said. "Do not apologize. Is this your first such dream?"
"No, Master," Obi-Wan said glad for his training which gave him the strength to have this conversation. "I know my feelings are wrong. I had hoped to shield them from you."
"Your tight shields have been a barrier in your progress the past few months," Qui-Gon told Obi-Wan. "A Jedi must be in control of his feelings and he can not do that without acknowledging them. As your Master, I should know if something is troubling you."
"This is embarrassing," Obi-Wan said.
"I know. I was a young man once. When you become a Knight, Master Yoda will no doubt tell you stories about my many embarrassing moments as a Padawan and young Knight," Qui-Gon smiled ruefully.
Obi-Wan smiled in surprise. "I look forward to hearing those stories."
"In the fullness of time," Qui-Gon smiled. "Obi-Wan, how do you feel about me?"
Obi-Wan looked at Qui-Gon for a brief moment wondering what it would be like to be away from the Temple and in a world where people did not have such conversations. The idea of being a tough smuggler sounded momentarily appealing. It would be a lot less embarrassing.
"Master," Obi-Wan pleaded.
Qui-Gon looked at Obi-Wan. His apprentice's feelings were clear. He could stop this line of questioning.
"I think we should both meditate after breakfast," Qui-Gon said.
"What about?" Obi-Wan asked.
"I am going to meditate about the best way to precede. You should meditate about your feelings and what you want," Qui-Gon said.
Obi-Wan looked sad.
Qui-Gon placed his hand over Obi-Wan's hand. In a gentle voice, "I do care about you, Obi-Wan. Never forget that. You have nothing to feel ashamed about and I am not trying to torture you with this assignment. You are feeling confused and mediation will make you feel better."
"You- you won't ask if I can be reassigned?" Obi-Wan asked softly. Qui-Gon looked shocked. "No, Obi-Wan. You will remain my Padawan. No matter how I chose to precede I know that I want you with me."
Obi-Wan looked relieved, but also sad. He had secretly hoped that his Master might return his feelings, but that was obviously not the case.
Obi-Wan's meditation was troubled. It was all he could do to keep his emotions in check. He wished he was still a child without such confusing and painful emotions. He could not escape the fact that he was in love with his Master. It was not simple physical attraction, but a deeper feeling of trust and caring. It hurt to know that his feelings were not returned, but he would satisfy himself with accepting the relationship that did exist between them.
Qui-Gon's meditations were also troubled. He did not know how to precede. He knew that both he and Obi-Wan were attracted to each other and that such a relationship was allowed although not encouraged. He wanted desperately to begin a physical relationship with his Padawan, but he was not sure how to precede. He knew that his Padawan believed that he was not interested and he regretted the misdirection. Then he had an idea.
"Part of the transition from Padawan to Jedi Knight involves trusting yourself and taking control," Qui-Gon told Obi-Wan. "I want you to lower your shields so that I can feel you and you can feel me. I am going to begin and I want you to be in control of your actions. If you wish to stop, then stop. If you wish to take control, then take control."
"I understand. Should I get my lightsaber?" Obi-Wan asked, curious about his Master's planned lesson.
"No, it will not be necessary," Qui-Gon said.
Qui-Gon kissed Obi-Wan lightly on the lips.
Obi-Wan's mind went into shock for a second, but his lips opened willingly. What was his Master doing?
Through their bond, Qui-Gon could feel his Padawan's love and physical pleasure.
"Master?" Obi-Wan asked. "Why are you doing this?"
"Because our feelings are the same," Qui-Gon said. "I meditated on a way to precede and this was my decision. I mean what I said about you being in control. This must be kept separate from your lessons. You must not feel that you are under any obligation."
"No obligation," Obi-Wan said smiling. Then shyly, "May I kiss you, Master?"
"If you wish," Qui-Gon smiled.
Obi-Wan leaned forward and kissed him. Qui-Gon tried to hold himself back, but soon both men were rubbing against each other. Obi-Wan decided this was much better than a cold shower for dealing with his feelings.
/I should hope that I am better than a cold shower. I hope my skills have not atrophied that much!/ Qui-Gon thought.
Obi-Wan's laughter sounded in him mind.
Qui-Gon sought to remove his Padawan of his shirt and then stopped at the young man's hesitation. He stopped.
"Why are you stopping?" Obi-Wan asked.
"I believe this is enough for now. Temple life has kept you protected and you have been good about following the Code and controlling your passions. We will have to take this slowly," Qui-Gon said.
"So this is not just a lesson?" Obi-Wan asked teasingly.
"Everything is a lesson. Life is a lesson," Qui-Gon said. "The Masters generally teach Padawans that the Code prohibits sex. It does not. It prohibits wanton sex, but not making love. If we were to proceed we would be giving into the former and that would be against the Code. Eventually, maybe we will be ready, but not now."
Obi-Wan nodded, but his frustration was higher than ever. He was ecstatic that Qui-Gon had feelings for him, but frustrated that his physical desires were still unmet. "May I have the first cold shower?"
Qui-Gon started to agree and then changed his mind. "We have taken enough cold showers lately. Soon we will get complaints about using up all the cold water. We will take a lukewarm shower together."
Obi-Wan looked up with interest. There was a very impish look in his eyes.
Qui-Gon rolled his eyes theatrically and shook his head. "Just a shower. Your first time should be in a nice, comfortable bed."
Obi-Wan grinned even more wickedly and Qui-Gon wondered what he was getting himself into as he headed for the shower.
Obi-Wan followed Qui-Gon reflecting that he had managed to lower his purity score significantly during the past 24 hours. With any luck he would soon be eligible of the non-virgin version.