TITLE: Behind the Mirror

AUTHOR/PSEUDONYM: Scorpio

E-MAIL:LouisdPdL@aol.com

RATING: NC-17

PAIRING: Angel/Demon

STATUS: Complete/new

ARCHIVE: Yes - Crystal @ the Den, Belynda @ Complete Kingdom, & PEJA @ WWOMB

SERIES/SEQUELS: Angel & Demon, A Love Story... chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: This is original fiction so no fandom's are mentioned, even in passing. All characters are mine and no infringement of anyone's rights has happened or is meant to happen. This is a work of love, not profit...

WARNINGS: This story contains graphic description of male/male sex! It is *not* implied, it is rich in detail! If this upsets or offends you, do not read any further. This chapter also contains a bit of soul searching and angst,... so anyone looking for a PWP or a bit of fluff will have to stop reading half way through.

SUMMARY: Picks up an hour or two after chapter 2, Angel & the Demon of Lust. The boyz are in Angels bedroom sleeping when....

Demon glanced back up at the two Delta Kappas standing in the doorway. He now recognized them from earlier that evening at the tattoo pallor. They were both still fully clothed as if they had just come home.

"What the hell?!" the red-head half shouted. Angel flinched slightly in his sleep and then pressed tighter to Demon.

"Shhh..." Demon whispered, bringing a finger up to his lips. "You'll wake up Angel." He looked back down at the sleeping man in his arms and lightly brushed a stray black curl away from his closed eyes.

"Oh sorry dude." Said the blonde in a hushed voice. "We were just making sure Angel made it home. We got seperated from him back in the city."

Demon looked back to the two Delta Kappas. The tall red-head was obviously upset, probably over finding a strange man in bed with his friend, but the shorter blonde guy was openly grinning.

"Yeah, I know, he told me. I found him wandering around the projects alone, so I brought him home before he could get himself mugged."

"Your Demon, aren't you?" asked the blonde. "From the tattoo place, right?"

Demon nodded.

"Well, thanks for bringing Angel home safe. See you in the morning." With that, he waved and reached in to shut the door again. Turning to his friend, he said, "Come on Joey, let's go."

Joey mumbled something that Demon couldn't hear, but he clearly heard the blonde laugh and say, "Don't worry dude, it won't seem so bad in the morning." as the two walked down the hall.

Demon lay there in the dark thinking of what had just happened. The red-head, Joey, had seemed shocked, even hurt while standing open mouthed and staring in the doorway. Demon wasn't sure if that reaction to finding him in Angel's bed was because he'd unintentionally outed Angel, or if they were in a relationship and Angel had just been caught cheating. The fact that Angel had been a virgin made Demon suspect it was the former, but either way, it would cause Angel problems. Demon sighed sadly. It was a long time until he could fall asleep again.

The first sensation to register in Angels slowly awakening mind was a powerful need to pee. As the pressure in his bladder brought his closer to consousness he became aware of a body lying behind him in the 'spoons' position. He smiled widely without opening his eyes. Demons chest was pressed up against Angels back tightly, skin to skin. His right arm was wrapped around Angels waist, holding him close while his left arm was under Angels head like a pillow. Angel couldn't think of anywhere he would rather be than in Demons arms. He felt safe, protected, cherished and fulfilled. He lay there for a full ten minutes luxurating in Demons gentle embrace until finally his bladder would not be ignored any longer.

Not wanting to wake Demon up, Angel tried to slip quietly out of the bed. As soon as he started to move towards the edge however, Demon pulled Angel tightly to him and snuggled down closer, burying his face into the back of Angels neck. Demon moaned deep in his throat, sounding like a big cat purring. Angel reluctantly took hold of Demons hand and slowly lifted it up off his waist as he started to move away once more. Demon let out a little whimper and peeled open one brown eye.

"Let me up Demon." Angel whispered. "I have to go pee."

After a quick squeeze, Demon let go and Angel slipped from the warm blankets and even warmer embrace. The morning air hit Angels skin in a rush, causing him to shiver slightly. Without even looking, Angel reached into the chaotic mess he called a closet and grabbed his robe. He threw it on, holding it closed in front as he stepped to the door.

Angel got to the bathroom just as Tommy was stepping out. His hair was slightly damp as if he had just showered. "Morning dude." Angel called with an easy smile.

Tommy gave a startled double-take. "Um,... er,... I mean,... ahhh,... morning." Tommy said, blushing a deep red. He couldn't seem to meet Angels eyes as he stumbled over his own words. "Um,... ughhh,... I gota go dude. Ahhh,... see ya."

With that, he hurried down the hall, stopping once to glance over his shoulder at Angel. Seeing Angel staring at him with a confused look on his face, he blushed again and hurried to his room.

What's wrong with Tommy? He acted like he had never seen Angel before. He shook his head. Angel had to take a piss way too bad to think about it.

He stepped into the steamy bathroom shutting the door behind him. After relieving his full bladder, Angle glanced into the foggy mirror over the sink. His cheeks were full of short stubble and his six-pack was coated with Demons dried cum. He really needed a shower and a shave, but he didn't want to be away from Demon for that long, so he settled for a quick wash from the sink and quickly brushing his teeth. Just as he was rinsing his mouth with a shot of Scope, the door opened and Demon peeked in. Seeing Angel standing at the sink with his robe hanging open, he flashed his crooked smile and stepped in.

As Demon shut the door behind him, Angel spit out the mouthwash into the sink and turned to face his lover. "Good morning." he breathed as Demon steeped into his arms. Demn ran a finger along Angels neck to his shoulders and then down his bare chest.

"No fair, I don't have a toothbrush."

Without any hesitation, Angel reached over to the sink and grabbed his, "Here, use mine."

"You'd let me use your toothbrush?"

"Sure. Everything else I own has been in your mouth. So go for it dude." Angel grinned as he walked to the door. "Oh, by the way,... nice outfit." He looked over his shoulder at the tattooed man wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist and lewdly eyed him up and down.

Demon laughed deep in his throat, "Pervert!" he called to Angel as he stepped out into the hallway.

Back in his room, Angel stripped off his robe, flung it over the back of his desk chair and climbed back into his bed. He could feel Demons body heat lingering on the sheets as he let his mind drift to the marvelous feeling of waking up in those strong, tattooed arms. He remembered the sensation of hot skin, Demons soft breath on his neck, the pleasure of total relaxation, but what stood out most was the sense of togetherness. Of not being alone.

Angel was lying naked in bed with a sincere smile on his face and a dreamy faraway look in his eyes when Demon returned to the bedroom. His cock twitched and his heart melted. Angels black curly hair was lying unruly against his forehead. The slight darkening along his jawline didn't make him seem any older, it only served to accentuate the innocence in his green eyes. The smooth creamy skin and muscular arms and chest once again made Demon think of the Greek statues he had seen on TV. He wondered if the Greeks had a God of Love.

"Eros." Angel whispered.

"What?"

"You asked if there was a God of Love." Angel said softly. "Eros. He's the son of Venus, Goddess of Beauty and Desire."

Demon blushed. He hadn't realized he'd spoken out loud. Feeling a little silly, he walked over to the beautiful young man in the bed.

"Venus and Eros are actually Roman deities, but I guess that's close enough, huh?" Angel said with a shy smile.

As Demon looked down into Angels face, he could feel his cock start to lengthen. He found Angel so seductive and desirable. Mainly because Angel didn't try to act sexy. He was shy and innocent and his passion was real. His grace was natural, not studied, and he was open in a way that shook Demon to his core. He'd never met anyone like Angel in his whole life, and if someone had asked him before yesterday, he would have sworn to the powers that be, that no one like him even existed.

With a gentle smile, Angel shifted over slightly and lifted the covers up so Demon could slide in. His cock sprang to full hardness at the sight of Angels body being revealed to him once again. Not being able to resist the invitation, Demon dropped the towel and stretched out alongside Angel.

Pressing his body close, Demon bent his head down and kissed Angel. Electric sparks, both sexual and sensual raced up and down Demons spine. Angels lips were soft and gentle and they devoured Demons with a tenderness that left him breathless. Demon looked into Angels gentle green eyes and saw things he barely recognized and didn't understand at all. He suddenly felt as if he had the most fragile and delicate substance in the universe cradled in his arms. Demon made a decision.

While Demon was not one to kiss and tell, he had had sex with plenty of men. He was on a first name basis with several hustlers that worked the projects where he lived and he had many lovers that frequented the leather bars that he usually cruised. He had earned a reputation as a creative and sublimely cruel top with a cold heart and as an experienced bottom with hot desires. But it was a whole different world with Angel in his arms. He was going to do somethng he hadn't done in years, something he didn't think he could do again. Demon wasn't going to have sex with Angel, he was going to make love to him...

Demon softly kissed Angels lips, jaw, cheeks, and even his eyes as he explored Angels chest with nothing more than his gentle fingertips. Angel responded to his touch with a long leisurely stretch and a quiet little purring moan. Angels face was open and every thought and emotion flashed across his masculine features. Looking into Angels revealed soul, Demon felt a small stab of fear and knew he was lost. Something cold and hard dissolved within Demon, briefly banishing his personal darkness and he began to worship Angel in the only way he knew how. With his body.

Demon licked, kissed and caressed his way down Angels chest, and then down his tight abs. He kissed the tip of Angels swollen cock before slowly sinking it into his hot wet mouth. Angel moaned and ran his fingers through Demons short cropped hair. He made love to Angels cock with his lips and tongue. He brought into play all of his skill and all of his passion. Soon, Angel was writhing with pleasure and whispering Demons name over and over.

Not wanting this to end so soon, Demon pulled off of Angel, placing one last kiss on the tip of his cockhead. Moving slowly so as not to break the moment, he leaned up to kiss Angels mouth once again. Their tongues exploring each other, Demon positioned himself over Angel and between his long muscular legs. Angel brought his hands up and rubbed Demons back softly.

Sitting up on his knees between Angels outstretched legs, he drank in the erotic sight of the naked young man lying before him, burning with desire. His need for Angel reached a fever pitch. Demon lowered himself down, spreading Angels legs and kissed his inner thigh down low by his groin.

"Ohhhhh...." Angel sighed as he shivered with pleasure.

Demon licked a path from Angels thigh down to the succulent firm globes of his ass. With his hands, Demon gently squeezed and rubbed Angels cheeks before spreading them apart to reveal his puckered lovehole. Pausing only a second to whisper a quick "Thank you Eros" to the Roman God of Love, Demon leaned forward and gently kissed Angel on the tight ring of muscles that guarded the gateway to paradise.

"Mmmmm... Oh Demon, my Demon." Angel breathed, grinding his ass into Demons face.

Demon felt a drop of pre-cum escape from the piss-slit of his throbbing cock. He licked and sucked at Angel, quickly loosening him. Soon he was able to probe Angels depths with his hungry tongue. Slicking him up with plenty of spit, Demon made love to Angel with his mouth, as the young beauty moaned and whimpered with indescribable pleasure. Wanting Angel to be ready for what was to come, Demon slicked up a finger in his mouth, then slowly inserted it into Angel. He heard his lover gasp.

"Ohhh, yesss..."

Probing and searching, Demon quickly found Angels prostate and rubbed it. A shudder of desire raced through Angels body and he pushed back on Demons finger. Gently working in and out a few times, Demon then added another finger. Angel began to rock his hips in time to Demons thrusting fingers. He quickly put in a third and began to gently spread them to further loosen the muscles.

"Oh-ma-gawd!" Angel gasped. "Oh Demon. Ohhh."

Demon knew Angel was ready. He removed his fingers and raised up on his knees. He spit in his hand and then lubed up his hard as steel cock. Demon took careful aim at Angels center then stopped and looked into his lovers face questionly.

In a voice husky with desire, Angel whispered a single word, "Please."

As slowly and as gently as he could, Demon began to enter Angels virgin hole. "Push back against me Angel." he said softly. "Yeah. That's it baby. Open up for me."

Demon reached down and pulled Angels legs up so his ankles were on Demons shoulders. He could feel the muscles in Angels ass relax around his cockhead and he slid in another two inches. Angel took a couple of deep breaths, then opened up even more. Demon slid home.

Exquisite pleasure rushed in a wave from his tightly gripped cock outward through his whole body. The muscles of Angels ass clutched at his dick and for a moment, Demon thought they were both going to cum. Holding perfectly still for a few minutes, Demon backed away from the point of no return.

In control of himself once more, Demon slid Angels legs down to his waist and leaned forward and over the beautiful black haired young man. Supporting himself with his arms planted firmly on either side of Angels chest, he leaned down and kissed those delicious lips. Angel kissed him back with a passion that stole his breath and burned his soul.

Demon slid his forearms up under Angels shoulders and began to slowly pull back his cock. Angel moaned into his mouth. Demon began to longdick his lover gently, caressing Angels prostate with the length of his cock on each pass. Angel brought his hands up, one running through Demons hair, pulling him down into another kiss. The other traced a path along Demons spine as he began to thrust his hips up to meet Demons strokes.

The rhythm they built was slow, tender and eclectic. Two quick short thrusts, followed by a slow long stroke, then a circular grind. They moved together, as one, in a dance as old as time.

"Oh Baby, Oh Angel." Demon breathed into Angels ear.

Angels sweet ass clutched at Demons cock with every thrust, the muscles sucking on it gloriously. Demon made love to Angel with every muscle in his body. Their sweat slicked skin sliding effortlessly against each other. Angel wrapped his legs tightly around Demons hips and both his hands traveled to grasp the small of Demons back. Pushing and pulling at Demon, guiding him in and out, Angel threw back his head and moaned with feverish passion.

"Deeeemonnnn..." he whispered as he squeezed his eyes tight.

Suddenly, Angels cock began to pulse and he shot blast after blast of hot creamy cum between their bodies. The intensity of his orgasm stole his breath. The muscles of his ass clamped down hard on Demons cock, relaxed, then clamped down hard again with each jet of cum from his cock. Demons mind went numb as the sensation of Angels orgasming ass on his cock sent him over the edge. His balls pulled up tight and released is creamy load deep into Angel with an intensity he'd never felt before.

"Ahhhhh!" he almost shouted.

Demon could feel his cock jerk and pulse as he shot again and again inside of Angel. His whole body tensed up until he stopped cumming. Suddenly, all tension drained from him and Demon collapsed on top of Angel, shaking and breathing heavily.

He felt Angel tighten his legs around his hips and wrap his arms around his chest to hold him tight. Both men laid in each others arms, feeling the other shiver with pleasure as they slowly came down from their shared orgasm. After a few minutes, Demon raised his face from Angels neck and Angel covered his face with tender kisses. Finally Angel pulled back from the kiss to look Demon in the eyes.

"If I could live in your arms, I'd be happy for the rest of my life." Angel whispered, his face an open book.

Demon buried his face into Angels neck, kissing it tenderly as a single tear rolled down his face.

"Baby..." Demon whispered into Angels ear.

"Hold me." Angel breathed, almost too soft to hear.

Demon held him tighter, marveling at the exquisite perfection of the trembling young man beneath him.

An hour and a half later, both men now being showered and shaved, found Demon dropping Angel off in front of McNearnin Hall for one of his classes. He watched the college studs sexy body jog up the steps and walk through the doors before he put his Harley Davidson in gear and sped back to the inner slums of the city he called home.

As Demon rode home, his thoughts churned within his mind, stumbling over themselves. His emotions burned and throbbed, pulling him apart. Guilt, anger, and fear battled with joy, love and desire. When he reached the open highway, he sped through the gears and flew down the road as if trying to out race his own mind.

Demon was a smart man and had a firm grip on the harsher realities of life. The lessons he'd learned from experience were all taught on the 'Pain Scale'. The more important the lesson, the more it hurt. The more it hurt, the faster you learned. Demon figured he had earned the street version of a P.H.D. He had survived his 'education', but just barely. To drag Angel into his life, with all the pain, hatred, and violence would be unforgivable, yet the thought of never seeing him again made all the world become as ashes before Demons eyes.

Demon cursed himself for what he perceived as sheer stupidity. How could he have allowed himself to feel so deeply for Angel? How could he have allowed his heart to open up once more? How could he have allowed himself to seduce Angel?

Angel...

With a crystal clarity and a painful honesty riding on a wave of gult, Demon saw himself in the 'grand scheme of things'. He might be a big player in the poverty ridden slums ruled by the bikers who called themselves 'The Guild', but Angel was destined to be so much more. Demon knew that in his heart. That knowledge brought the realization that he wasn't good enough for Angel. Angel deserved better than an emotionally burned-out biker with no real future.

With his battered heart breaking, Demon realized that he loved the young man that was so perfectly named. He loved him more than anything else in the world. He loved him enough to lose him. With a cry of rage and pain ripping from his throat and tears streaming down his wind lashed cheeks, Demon vowed never to go see Angel again. For Angels own good.

Angel spent his entire class in a sort of daze. He kept loosing his consentration on the lecture and would slip into a daydream in which Demon was the star. He pictured those dark, haunted eyes in his mind as he replayed the events of earlier that morning. He remembered the sounds, the smells, the touches and the emotions. When Angel realized he was sitting in the lecture hall with an erection tenting his jeans, he painstakingly forced his mind from roaming and back to the less than exciting lecture.

Finally, the class ended and everyone poured out of the room into the crowded hallway. Not paying close attention to where he was going, Angel bumped into a short blonde girl with an armload of books. The look she flashed him was very odd. A mixture of confusion, startlement and just a touch of fear. It reminded him of something familiar, yet different. He walked away trying to track down the memory her expression had stirred in him. And then it hit Angel,... Hard. Tommy!

Stunned, Angel came to a complete stop in the middle of the crowded hallway, like an island in the middle of a stream of people that parted around him. Every detail of his encounter with Tommy in the hallway outside the bathroom at Delta Kappa House this morning replayed before his eyes. The startled expression on his face, the stammering speech, the blushes, the way Tommy wouldn't look him in the face. Tommy knew what he and Demon had done!

Angel started shaking violently as he felt his world fall apart. A feeling of claustrophobia crept over him, choking him, bringing on a rush of panic. He felt eyes staring at him and the speaking people around him made no sense at all. The talk floated past as words and phrases without coherence. Angel did the only thing he could think to do. He ran out of the building and across campus.

Angel was halfway to Delta Kappa House when he realized where he was heading in his blind panic. He forced himself to stop, take some deep breaths, get a hold of himself. Angel had never experienced a panic attack before and he was sure he didn't like it. Looking around, he saw an empty park bench under a shady tree besides Van Dorn Hall. Angel walked over and sat down. He needed to think.

Angel had never told anyone he was gay. He had come close to telling his best friend and brother Delta Kappa, Joey, on two seperate occasions, but had chickened out. Now he guessed the whole frat knew. Angel groaned.

Last night, he had drunkenly decided that if anyone commented about Demon spending the night in his room, he would just say they had passed out cold from too much beer. No big deal. That kind of thing happened all the time. But now?

Angel figured that the brothers had heard them and guessed what was really happening in the cramped bedroom. He groaned again. Angel had been careful to stay in the closet ever since Junior High when Dave Rawlins was beaten up for being gay. He'd come away with a broken arm and a body full of bruises. Angel didn't think that the other Delta Kappa's would become violent like that, but he did fear they would be hurt, angry and reject him outright. He would become an outcast. Scorned.

As Angels mind raced he found himself staring at a question he had asked himself only yesterday before going out to the city. His own words echoed in his ears.

"If I find the man of my dreams, what would I do? Go after him and give up my life,... Or give up him and live in misery?"

The frat,... or Demon? It wasn't fair. Why couldn't he have both? He could lie, say that he was drunk or that Demon drugged him and he didn't have any choice,... or he could tell the truth and risk having his friends hate him for being a fag. But what was the truth anyway? So much had happened so fast that it made Angels head spin. Angel took a deep breath and tried to sort everything out...

Truth; Angel was gay. It wasn't the alcohol. It isn't a phase. It just is,... and always will be the truth.

Truth; Angel felt a powerful physical attraction to Demon. He stoked the fires of passion in Angel as no man ever did before.

Truth; Angel was intrigued by the lifestyle Demon led. He had been overprotected and sheltered his whole life and Angel was fascinated with the dangerous vibes that surrounded Demon like a dark cloud.

Truth; Angel was touched to the quick by the deep hurt and sadness he saw in Demons eyes. He could feel a loneliness in Demon that echoed his own.

Truth; Demon made Angel feel things both physically and emotionally that Angel never even imagined he could feel.

Truth; Angel had fallen in love.

Angel sighed deeply as he made his decision. He assumed (and correctly too) that Demon had been betrayed before, but Angel vowed that he never would. He loved Demon, and to deny that would be the worst betrayal of all. He wouldn't say anything to the brothers, but if they confronted him, he'd tell the truth and hope they understood. It would be hard, but the way Angel saw things, it was the only real choice.

Trembling slightly with fear of what was to come, Angel stood up and started to walk home once more.

Chapter Disclaimers: All characters in this story are the sole property of the author. Mickey D's is owned by McDonald Corp and Metallica is owned by themselves... no infringement intended...

Warnings: DRUG USE is not implied, it is acted out. If this is offensive to you, please do not read this chapter. (see notes below), implied and explained m/m sex but no graphic representation, harsh language, angst.

Notes: I have mentioned in earlier chapters that Angel & Demon are based on my own experiences as well as the experiences of many of my friends in RL. That is the reason I have included drug use in this story. This won't be the only time. This is NOT to imply that I in any way wish to enchourage drug use. To the contrary, I am a recovering cocaine addict. I have been clean for a smidge over ten years now. It *is* possible to clean up and turn your life around. *That* is the point I will make,... eventually. If you feel that you can not read this due to the mention and use of drugs, I will not be offended, but please, don't flame me about how bad drugs are. I can tell horror stories that will make you cry. It's called, my life... Thank you, Scorpio...
*****

With nervous tension knotting his stomach and causing sweat to bead up on his brow, Angel slowly opened the front door of the Delta Kappa House. It was quiet inside. That was not unusual for this time of day. Most of the brothers would be in class, or studying at the library. It was after lunch, but before dinner, so there was no real reason to have many of the brothers in. Breathing a slight sigh of relief, Angel headed up the stairs to his room. Putting his books down, he put on a CD and laid back on his bed to think.

As he became calmer, he suddenly felt tired. His energy was completely drained. The physical exertions of last night combined with the emotional rollercoaster ride he was still swept up in took it's toll. Without even realizing it was happening, Angel was soon fast asleep on his bed.

When Angel woke again, he could tell it was a little after dinner time by the angle of the sunlight streaming weakly through his window and the persistent rumbling in his stomach. He was still nerbous about any confrontations, but he knew they would come sooner or later.

With a deel sigh, he figured he might as well get up and go eat. Hiding in his room would not stop the inevitable from happening. That decided, Angel sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed only to feel a jolt of fear as he noticed a figure sitting at his desk for the first time.

"Holy fuck!" he shouted, instinctively drawing back.

Without a sound, the figure reached out his hand and switched on the desk lamp beside him. The small circle of golden light washed across Joey's bright red hair and freckled skin.

"Damn Joe! You scared the shit out of me!"

Angel complained, shocked into full wakefulness. Joey didn't say anything, he just turned his head and looked at Angel.

Joey and Angel were best friends. They met in their Junior yer in high school after Joeys father was relocated by his company to the neighboorhood. They choose the same college to prevent themselves from being seperated and even rushed the same frat. No one knew Joey as well as Angel and vice-versa. The first thing that Angel noticed when Joey turned to face him was that Joey was very upset. Not many people would be able to tell. Like most red-heads, when Joey became angry he let everyone know in no uncertain terms, but when Joey had his feelings hurt or was very sad, he became quiet and withdrawn. He held it all bottled inside until he could get to Angel and let it all our out in private.

That is what Angel saw. His best friend in the entire world was sitting before him in pain. All thoughts of his own dliema rushed out of his mind as he suddenly focused on Joey.

Angel slid off the bed and placed a hand on Joeys shoulder.

"Dude, what's wrong man?"

With a sharp move, Joey pushed Angels hand off of him, jumped up and yelled. "YOU! That's what's wrong!"

Confusion swirled through Angel as he stared at his friend, watching him breath heavily through his nose, obviously trying to calm himself. Joey was visibly shaking, and anger rose in his eyes. Angel took an involuntary step back, suddenly frightened. Angels fear must have reached Joey in some way, because as fast as the anger had risen, it faded away, to be replaced by the hurt again. Tiredly, Joey sank back down into the desk chair. Nervously, Angel sat on the edge of his bed across from him.

"What did..." Angel began, but he was silenced when Joey put up a hand to stop him.

Angel was about to try again when Joey spoke up.

"I saw you with him." He barely whispered. Angel paled.

"Billy and I got back to town real late last night, and we came up here to see if you had gotten in."

Angel didn't reply, he couldn't think of anything to say even as his mind whirled a hundred miles as hour. Joey looked up from his lap and directly into Angels eyes.

"You were in bed with him, sleeping,... naked."

"Joey, I..."

"Don't try to deny it Angel, I saw you with my own eyes."

"I wasn't going to deny it. You're right. We were both naked, in bed,... together."

"Why Angel, why?" the pain in his voice evident.

Angel sighed, he knew what he had to say.

"Before you ask, no, I wasn't that drunk, no, he didn't drug me or force me or anything like that. I,... I'm gay."

Angel sat there, waiting for Joey to freak out again at the confession. Instead, what he heard shocked him.

"Well, duh! I figured *that* out as soon as I opened your door and saw you wrapped around that guy. I mean, why didn't you tell me. Me! I'm supposed to be your friend. Your *best* friend!" Joeys face was a mask of hurt. "I feel like this whole time I thought I could trust you and you've been lying to me."

Angel felt like he had been hit in the gut by a flying brick. He tried to speak several times but his tongue kept getting in teh way. One thought pierced through the swirling emotions, and helped him to focus,... Joey didn't seem to care that he was gay, only that Angel hadn't told him.

"I was afraid." he said finally.

"What?"

"I was afraid, okay?" Angel said loudly, becoming defensive. "I didn't want to risk what I had. I didn't want to end up like Dave Rawlins. But mostly, I didn't want to risk losing you! Risk having you turn your back on me and hate me because of it. God knows I wanted to tell you so many times, hell, I almost did a few times, but I always got too scared to say it."

"You thought I would hate you for being gay? Dude, your my best friend. I couldn't hate you."

"You don't hate me?"

"No! I *am* mad you didn't trust me though. You should know you can tell me anything." <> Joey looked at Angel again and thought a moment.

"Who's Dave Rawlins?"

"He moved out of the old neighborhood a few years before you got there. He got beat up *real* bad one day by the guys at school... for being gay."

"I didn't know."

So, Angel started to talk. He opened up in a way he never had to anyone. He told Joey all about Dave. He told him what it was like to live in the closet, always afraid someone would find out about his secret and turn his life upside down. He talked about how he feared his parents would disown him when they found out, and how he felt like he was letting them down.

Joey listened like the good friend he was. He let Angel pour his heart out to him, and he was there on the bed, holding Angel tightly when he startd to cry. Joey never realized how much Angel had been holding in, dealing with all by himself.

When Angel swore he'd never keep another secret from Joey again, he broke down and cried right along with Angel. By the time the two young men had calmed down, they were closer than ever.

Joeys arm was draped over his shoulders as Angel slowly pulled himself back together. Wiping the last tear from his eye, Angel realized how lucky he was to have Joey as a friend. He had come very close to loosing the greatest friend in the world and he was a little amazed that they had managed to work everything out.

He felt as if a two-ton weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. It was an incredible sensation of freedom to be able to have someone that he could tell his feelings to - his real feelings. He couldn't help but smile.

Joey broke Angel from his thoughts. "I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

At the mention of food, Angels stomach growled loudly. Both of them glanced down at Angels mid-section and busted up laughing.

"Well, that answers that question, huh?"

Joey grabbed Angels hand and pulled him up off the bed.

"Come on, let's head into town and grab some Mickey D's. My treat."

The two college studs left the house and went to Joeys car, cracking jokes about how hungry they were and who could eat the most french fries. They continued joking all the way down town and while they were sitting in the drive-thru. After getting their order, Joey parked in an open space at the end of the parking lot and they dug into their food while tunes poured from the cars sound system.

When they were almost done eating, Joey spoke, serious once again.

"So, Angel,... What's up with you and that guy, uhh... Demon is it?"

Angel glanced over at Joey. He was looking at Angel with one eyebrow raised, cutiosity in his eyes. There was no anger or resentment, just a desire to know.

"Um,... well,..."

"Come on Angel. You said you wouldn't keep any secrets from me again."

"I know. It's just that,... well, this is weird for me, ya know? I never once talked about stuff like this, not with anyone."

Joey nodded.

"I understand. Just take it slow, dude."

Joey turned and looked directly at Angel.

"I know that you slept with him and all, but,... do you like him dude? Or is it just, you know,... good sex?"

Angel turned bright red, and this made Joey burst into laughter.

"Sorry man, I didn't mean to make you blush. But seriously, though, what's up with you two?"

Angel paused for a moment collecting his thoughts before answering.

"Yeah, I do. Like him, I mean. There's something about him that just gets to me. I don't know what exactly, but it's real. We're both so different, but so much alike too. I can't explain it."

He glanced up at Joey with a smirk on his face.

"And the sex wasn't just good, it was fucking great."

This time Joey blushed bright red, and Angel laughed.

Then Angel told Joey all about how Demon brought him home after finding him lost and alone in the city. He told Joey about inviting him in and how Demon had seduced him. Then, Joey told Angel how he and Billy finally headed for home after searching for Angel, only to find him already there.

Angel got real guiet and turned slightly pale. Finally, Joey noticed his friends silence.

"What's the matter?"

"Billy knows?"

Suddenly, Joey understoond.

"Yeah, he does. He talked to Demon before we left your room. Didn't Demon tell you?"

Angel numbly shook his head.

So, Joey told him about what had been said while Angel had been lying asleep in his lovers arms. Angels confusion at Billys reaction must have been evident, because Joey started to tell him about what happened after they left Angels room.

"After we left you and Demon, Billy dragged my to his room. I was upset. I admit it. I,... well, I felt like you had betrayed me or something."

"I'm sorry."

"No. I know. It's okay. But last night I was upset. Billy made me sit down on his bed and told me to go ahead and freak out." Joey grinned bashfully. "So I did. I told him how I was hurt because you were my best friend, yet I found out about you being gay by accident."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay now Angel. I understand why you did it. But last night I was upset. Shocked mostly. It totally caught me off guard, but Billy was really cool about it. He let me babble away. Well, I finally realized tht he wasn't freaked out about you being gay, so I asked him why."

Angel swallowed hard, his nerves on end. "What did he say?"

Joey shrugged, "Well, he turned to his bookshelf and pulled out an old photo album. He flipped through it a minute, then handed it to me. It was open to a picture of two girls smiling at the camera."

Angel glanced at him quizzically. "Why?"

"He said it was a picture of his sister,... and his sisters girlfriend."

Angels eyebrows both raised up at that news. Joey chuckled softly.

"Yeah. Billys sister is a lesbian. According to Billy, she's been with her current girlfriend for a few years now. It's a real serious type of realationship."

Angel could almost see the lightbulb go on over Joeys head.

"You should go talk to him about it,ya know. Hell, he could probably tell you some stories about his sister and all. You know, like the things that happened to her when people found out."

Angel nodded thoughtfully unitl something occured to him.

"Who else knows?"

"No one that I know of. It was just me and Billy."

Angel sighed with relief. Billy and Joey knowing his secret was almost more than he could handle, even with both of them being cool with it. After the last 24 hours, Angel didn't think he could stand any more shocks.

It was at that point that Joey looked him in the eye and asked, "So, did you suck his dick, or what?"

At those words Angels over taxed mind and stressed out nerves short-circuted. He began laughing hysterically as tears poured down his cheeks. Joey looked at him as if he had lost his mind.

"What's I say?"

Angel looked over at him. Joeys face was full of confused concern and that made Angel burst out laughing again.

"Hehehehe,... Dude, I,... hahahaha,... Dude, I tried, but,... Teh-hehehe,... ohhh, man, it was,... hehehehehe, it was so big, I,... hahahaha,... Hehehe, he was so big, I ,... hahahaha, I choked on it dude! Hahahahahaha!"

Joey blinked once, twice, then burst out laughing just as hard as Angel.

Several days later, Angel was sitting in his room, pouring over the notes for an upcoming test when Joey and Billy walked into his room, shut the door behind them and made themselves at home on his bed.

Slamming the notebook shut, Angel snapped at his friends, "What? Did we forget how to knock?"

After glancing at each other with knowing looks, Joey turned to Angel.

"Dude, what *is* your problem lately? You've been getting more nasty as the week goes by. What's up?"

Angel took a deep breath, ready to launch into the two young men, when he realized that they were serious. They weren't trying to bust his balls, they really wanted to know what was bothering him. Angel let out the breath in a deep sigh and shock his head.

"Has it been that noticeable?"

"Yes." They said in unison.

Angel sighed again. He didn't realize that he had been affecting the people around him with the thoughts going around his head lately. He should have known better.

"It's two things actually." Angel began.

"Well, what's the first?" asked Billy.

"Tommy."

Seeing both of them with blank looks on their faces he explained.

"Tommy has been avoiding me like the plague. I've tried to talk to him several times, but he gets all freaky on me and splits. It's really getting to me."

"Why is he acting like that? You've always gotten along real good before." Joey noted.

"I don't know for sure, since he won't talk to me, but it started the morning after Demon spent the night."

All three of them exchanged concerned looks. Without having to say a word, they knew that Tommy had somehow figured out Angels secret.

"And that leads to my second problem,... Demon."

At that, the two guys on the bed exchanged confused looks. "What's wrong with Demon?" Billy finally asked.

"This is going to sound stupid,..." Angel warned.

He took a deep breath and plunged forward.

"Well, he never called. He never came back, and he knows I don't have a car to get to him. I called the place he works, but he wasn't in and he never called me back." Angel looked down into his lap, blushing. "I guess I feel used. Like a whore or something."

That said, both of the guys got off the bed. Billy left the room, but Joey walked up to Angel and put his arms around Angels shoulders.

"What a jerk." he mumbled.

"I really liked him Joe. He made me feel special or somthing,... but now? I guess I just wish I knew why he didn't call me."

Just then Billy returned carrying a full bottle of vodka and three cups.

"Come on, let's get drunk."

By the time the bottle was empty, all three were plastered and they had compiled a list of things that one should never do to their significant other,... be they male or female. They also had discussed who were the most fuckable people in their respective classes as well as those they wouldn't touch for any amount of money.

And of course, they had decided to drive into the city and hunt Demon down. Only stopping to grab two six-packs of beer out of the fridge, they piled into Joeys car and headed down the highway.

Demon sat in the back room of his uncles tattoo shop at a wooden table rolling a fat joint. An old Mettalica song throbbed and pulsed in the air. His cousin, Mad-dog sat across from him playing with a knife and tried to cheer him up. He had been sunk in a black depression ever since leaving Angel a few days ago and he didn't care who knew it.

Mad-dog had finally guessed that he was hung up on some guy or other, but Demon refused to talk about it. The only thing Mad-dogs father Sammy had said on the subject was, "You better snap out of that funk you're in numb-nutz, or you're going to wind up in the loony ward,... just like Susan." Susan was Sams sister and Demons mother. It took a lot of self control to keep from knocking out a few of Sams teeth, but Demon wasn't angry at him anymore, just tired.

Demon blazed up the joint and took a deep drag before passing it to Mad-dog. 'Fade to Black' came on and Demon just listened to the song as he slowly got stoned. The pot helped a little. It didn't make the pain go away, but it buried it, took the razor edge off it.

Suddenly, the door in the front room opened and the two tattoo covered men heard the sounds of drunken people trying to hold it together. Mad-dog sighed, and stood up to go great them.

Demon stayed in the back and finished off the last of the joint. As the song ended and a quiet settled over the room, he could hear an arguement in the front room. Fuck. He stood up to go help Mad-dog kick out the drunks when he heard his name being yelled. Demon stopped in mid step, shocked to the bone. That wasn't Mad-dog yelling for him, it was,... Angel!

Running from the room like a madman, he was confronted with pandemonium. Mad-dog was doing a pretty good job of herding the three guys to the door. The two guys who had walked in on him and Angel the other night were mostly trying to talk to Mad-dog who was mostly ignoring them. Angel, however, was ignoring Mad-dog, just trying to get past him while screaming for Demon.

"Everyone, just stop!!!" Demon yelled.

Silence descended on the room as everyone looked at him. Demon took a deep breath and then asked the question that was burning in his mind.

"Angel, what are you doing here?"

Looking at him standing there, Demons heart broke all over again.

"We need to talk."

Anger, hurt and determination flashed in his green eyes.

Demon just nodded and turned to walk into the back room. Mad-dog let him go and Angel followed, leaving his two friends to wait in the front room.

Demon sat down at the table in his chair and gestured for Angel to take the other. Angel just stood however, looking at him while swaying on his feet. Demon could smell the beer and the stronger alcohol underneath. Angel was very drunk and very hurt. Demon wasn't sure what to say to the black haired beauty, so he waited for Angel to speak first.

Angel didn't say anything however, instead he reached out with his well muscled arm and slapped Demon in the face. Demon took the hit. Demon was a very good street fighter and Angel had drunkenly telegraphed his intention to strike. Demon could have easily blocked the blow, but he wanted it. Felt he deserved it. When his head snapped back into place he looked up to see Angel standing there with tears running silently down his face.

"Angel,... Baby I..."

Angel exploded.

"Don't you 'Angel Baby' me god-damn-it! What the fuck is wrong with you! You think I'm your personal little whore? That you can toy with me and then not call me back and everything can be fixed with an 'Angel Baby'? If you didn't want to see me again, fine! But at least have the decency to tell me."

"You don't understand, I..."

"What don't I understand Demon? Huh, what? I understand that I gave you something special. I gave you me! Nobody can ever have what I gave you. It's yours forever, and you treat me like a fucking whore!"

Demon felt as if he had been hit once again. Demon had been avoiding Angel, trying to protect him from being hurt by Demon and his life,... and yet, that very thing had been hurting Angel all along.

Demon stood up and stepped towards Angel. Angel threw a few more wild swings at him, but he easily avoided or blocked them. Finally close enough to do so, Demon wrapped his arms around Angel and pulled him in close, hugging him tightly.

Angel struggled at first, but Demon refused to let go. Finally, Angels resistance broke and he leaned into him crying. He banged his fist on Demons chest twice to emphasize his feelings. Angel was very strong and Demon was sure he'd have a colorful bruise in the morning, but he didn't care. When Angel got quiet enough to hear, Demon tried to explain.

"Angel,... Baby, I wasn't trying to make you feel like a whore. I never once saw you that way. Honest." he said as he slowly stroked the black curls on Angels head.

"But then why..."

"I didn't call you because..." Demon began slowly. "Well, because you deserve better than me." He finished in a rush.

Angel looked at him, confusion evident on his face.

"Look Angel. Let's face it. I'm a member of a motorcycle gang and I'm a career criminal. No one in my family, and none of my friends are what you would call a 'typical joe'. Do you get what I'm saying? My life is not exactly a trip to Disneyland. You on the other hand, you've got a real shot at a good life. The future is bright for you. You should find someone who won't mess things up for you. Me,... I'll be happy if I end up spending more than half my life outside of jail, ya know."

"But it's you I want."

"Angel, you are like a gift from heaven, do you know that? A gift that shouldn't be wasted on someone like me."

Angel didn't say anything to that, he just leaned in and kissed Demon with all the passion he felt inside. Demon moaned. He tried to pull back, to make Angel see reason, but he couldn't do it. Angel just kept holding him tight, kissing his lips and cheeks and neck.

The other night, Demon had been the one to seduce Angel, but now, it was his turn to be seduced. His body responded to Angels touch with a burning desire even as the dark loneliness rolled off of him. Looking into Angels eyes, he realized once again that he was lost. There was nothing that he wouldn't do for him. It was a horribly frightening and totally liberating feeling all at once.

He felt Angels hands grab the edge of his shirt just seconds before it was lifted off over his head...

Mad-dog sat out at the table in the front room with the two drunken kids. The blonde was passed out cold, but the red-head had a faintly worried look on his face. Mad-dog could understand that. From the yelling that had been going on earlier he finally knew who it was that had his cousin all worked up. He had to admit it though, Demon had good taste in men. They all looked like models or something, but this guy made the others before him look like chopped liver. And from the screaming he had heard, this guy wasn't a player like the others had been. He was for real.

Mad-dog didn't know if Demon had done a good thing by finding him, or if he had screwed up big time. From the look on the red-heads face, he was probably thinking the same thing about his own friend.

Suddenly, the red-head spoke. "It's quiet. I guess they aren't fighting anymore."

"Yeah."

"Wonder what they're doing? Why didn't they come back if they worked it out?"

Mad-dog had been wondering the same thing. It had been too quiet for too long.

"I'll go find out. Wait here, I'll be right back. I'll just make sure they didn't go and kill each other or something."

Mad-dog walked into the back room and found it empty. Turning to the right he saw a light coming from the side room where the body table was. The body table was big enough for a person to stretch out on while having a major tattoo done, like a full back piece or something. Walking over, he opened the door a little wider to be able to see into the room. Demon and the black haired guy were both naked and on that very same table. The stranger was lying on his back and Demon was pumping into him with passionate skill.

Demon turned his head to Mad-dog and said, "Get out." He then turned his attention back to the guy under him.

Closing the door, Mad-dog stopped at the table to grab Demons pot and rolling papers. He was a little unnerved at the scene he had witnessed. Mad-dog had seen Demon fuck other guys before, that wasn't it. He'd walked in on him several times over the years, and once Demon had had him video tape a session with a camcorder. It was the fact that it was totally unlike anything he'd seen Demon do.

Usually, Demons sexcapades tended to resemble something out of medieval torture rituals. Mad-dog knew that Demon was a sadist, that he enjoyed things like bondage and discipline. He played little head games with his boy-toys, designed to humiliate them as they submitted to him.

But what he had seen in the other room was nothing like that. It had been tender and slow and,... real. And then it hit him, Demon wasn't trying to dominate the black haired guy because he didn't *want* to. Demon saw him as a person,... not a sex toy. Demon was in love.

He walked out to the front room again to find the red-head still sitting there awake and worried. He sat down next to him and told him what he had seen. Then he proceeded to roll a fat one.

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