by Just A Guy on Mon Mar 23, 1998
Trevor and Bob and Bob's girlfriend loved to play games...one of their favorites was fart lighting..the 3 were the greatest fart lighters on this side of Omaha, Nebraska......one day after a beer drinking contest..it was 2 in the afternoon..all 3 were plastered off there asses on this fine Monday afternoon. It was Bob's girlfriend Suzy's idea to light some farts..seens that she had some chili earlier and alot of beer..both gave her some gas...the guys being men and all..took her up on that challenge....they felt they had as much gas as she did...So Suzy started then she farted..(hey that kind of rhymes..I'm a poet and didn't even realize that I was)..anyways...it blasted..."just a warm up, next one is going in flames" so Trevor let one go and it was a small one...then Bob's turn and it squeeked..Bob was too drunk to care anyways..but Trevor was not gonna get beat in a fart lighting contest by a petite girl....so Suzy had Trevor put the lighter up her ass..being the gentleman he is and flick the lighter to flame and then she let out a Ffflupityberrrpff...then WHOOSH what a flame and she even had some more left for the smell
Fact: when you light your farts it burns the smell
So now it was Trevor's turn..he waved away her fart smell to let some air ..just in case his fart would leave a smell..and then took the lighter up to his ass and then lit . Feert whoosh...Suzy laughed "you fart like a girl" Trevor crinkled his eyebrows and said "just warming up" they both looked to Bob.."Bob its your turn" said Suzy..but Bob was passed out.."Looks like it's you and I" said Trevor..and then Suzy with evil grin and let out a little wind...and said "You're on" Trevor went ahead and let another one loose into the lighter...Whooooosh
"Not bad Trev, But try this one on for size" she pulled up her skirt to expose her panties and then said 'allow me" grabbed the lighter out of Trevor's hand and put it up her ass...then BRRRRAAPPWHOOOOOOOSH "damn" said Trevor...thats nothing....but then a little bit of her smell reached his nose...."pugh, that one stank, girl"..said Trevor..." I'm telling you Trev..the beer gives it the nice stinky smell"
Then Trevor grabbed the lighter and squeezed out a ppt..but no whoosh.. Suzy just laughed...Trevor was now determined...then Suzy lit one towards him.. Ferwhoosh "thats just a little one..oh a big one to you Trev" Suzy said. Trevor was squeezing and squeezing to build up a giant one..he would not let this girl get the best of him......then all of a sudden he felt it..the big one..this one would light up the whole back yard...Trevor said.."Suzy hand me the lighter please" then pulled down his pants and underwear and put the lighter up there..and felt it build up....(instead of sound affects..I'll explain) The backyard lit up ..it was like lightning...the sound broke the sky...Suzy ducked low..it was beutiful..scientist belive that this was the day in history that the night turned to day in a matter of seconds...it gave the ambiance of the end..was it a comet? was it a ufo? no it was a big ball of fire and behind that was good ole happy Trevor and underneath was Suzy with a frown...the flame was dying down..then from the impact it swooped up Trevors colon..and his guts exploded...BOOOM!!!
Goodbye Trevor.
Trevor felt nothing he was floating in a mass of darkness...am I blind? His emotions were at ease..he just knew he was floating..he began to build up.."Oh my God" said Trevor "I'm dead" he began to float a bit more..the only thing he noticed besides bliss was that he smelled real bad....he couldn't handle it..then he noticed a tunnel of light..and his soul was floating in a quicker pace to that light hole in the distance.. Meanwhile Suzy as she was sobering up..was trying to wake Bob up "Bob, Trevor is dead wake up" But Bob was passed out..he was on Tilt. Suzy felt a bit more gas in her..so she figured a way to wake up Bob..she pulled her panties down and put a lighter to her ass and pointed her ass to Bobs face..and began to squeeze
Trevor was reaching the tunnel in a fast pace it was magnificent..it was like a roller coaster ride faster then ever..even the one at the local fair...."I'm going to heaven" then the light got bigger and brighter....and then he shot through
WHOOOOSH.."Hell?'
The end
by Jason on Wed Mar 25, 1998
Well I was a Gymnastics teacher at a good gymnastics school -- one of the best. Well it was the day for class the boys' class just ended and the girls were just starting I brought some cookies in like I always do and set them down in the eating room you know young gymnasts need some energy they ranged in age from 8-12. Well then I went to the gym to talk to the girls for a few mins. Then we went to the eating room to have the cookies They were sugar cookies with red sprinkles on them. The girls love sprinkles. Now sometimes I bring them plain, sometimes with sprinkle as a special treat. Now I forgot which I brought today but they were glad it was the sprinkle kind. Now we got done and headed out to the gym.
I told the girls to do some warm up exercises while I get something out of my office. Well I was gone for like 5 mins when I got back all the girls were laughing their heads off I really didn't know what for but I guess they are little girls they do that. Well I told them okay girls time to settle down a lets start class. Now I let them talk for a few mins so I could get my paper work straight. while I was doing that this blonde girl with green eyes, I think her name was Tara, came over to me and ask if she could go to the bathroom. I told her sure and watched her go into the bathroom she seemed a little uncomfortable and to my surprise she was only like in there for about 2 seconds because when I looked up again she was heading back. I thought a girl can't go to the bathroom that fast. Well I got my paper worked done. Now time to the first event THE HORSE. The first girl got up did everything right but when she landed she farted like I never heard a little girl fart before. Well the class started to laugh again I raced over to her of course you can't let a 9 year old fart get away. She said "Excuse me" and I said it was okay. Now everyone did the horse well -- that is one of our strong points, except about 3 of the girls farted while on it. So I though nothing of it just a couple of girls that needed to leave off gas. Of course I wanted to smell them but couldn't.
Now we took a break after the horse I said if anyone needs the restroom go now. To my surprise nobody went. Well I said "Okay lets take 5 mins. I am going to come around to each of you and tell you how you did." Well I went and sat next to this girl -- I think her name was Megan. Right before I could open my mouth she let out this great big fart a ground shaker of course we were sitting on the floor. So stunned I sat there paralyzed for like 30 seconds I don't know what to say I finally said "That one must have hurt", and she laughed. Well I stayed extra long with her, you know, smelling her fart. Finally I got done with the reviews now off to the UNEVEN BARS well the first girl farted before she got on and farted all the way through. I was wondering what is going on with my girls. Well you know when you have gas flipping and flopping makes it come out faster so all ten of my girl farted like a 10 string band, everyone farting a different tune. Well I was like just amazed, but loving it
When we got done with the uneven bars the class said to me I don't know but I think we has gas. I couldn't hold myself any long I busted out laughing. I said to them well you know what is next the floor exercises and I think that it will be like a 10 ring circus out there. They all laughed. Sure enough all the girls farted like crazy.
Well the class ended finally and the girls went home. I of course stay there for like an hour smelling the gases. Well any way the next day I saw two of the boys from the boys' class. They came up to me and said so how did the girls class go did it stink? they both laughed. Then I saw the cookies in their hand. I remembered I had brought the plain ones in. I said "You put those sprinkles on, didn't you?" They couldn't stop laughing they said yep. It was fart powder with a little red food coloring. Well after the boys' class was over I had those two boys come into my office I also had 4 of the girls in my office. Well when they came in I said wait here I will be back. Then I went outside the office and locked the door and let the kids inside. I stood right outside the door. I could hear every word that was said. The first girl said "I loved those" then you heard her fart, then the next girl said "cookies", then she farted. And the third girl said "the best" then she farts and the fourth girl said "I ever ate" and she farted. Then all at once you hear them say "This is for you!". They all farted at the same time. You could hear the boys saying "Let me out of here! let me out of here!" I just looked, smiled, and left them in there for like 15 more mins. It was awesome. Well I will tell you this the girls never liked sprinkles again and since then I have only had a few farts but I guess that is the way it goes with gymnasts.
By Lisa on Sat Mar 28, 1998
(Note: this story has a girl farting into a guys face. I hope you like it.)
Scott felt guilty about doing this. Spying on Karen from the tree across from her house... it just felt so wrong. Still, hormones are hormones. Besides, it wasn't likely that Karen would find out. It was a victimless crime.
"Yeah, Scott" he said quietly. "You just keep telling yourself that."
Karen was the prettiest girl on campus. Long, dark hair, a cute face, big boobs and a nice ass. A REAL nice ass. She lived in a big house, all alone. Her parents owned it, it was like their summer home. Pretty and rich, it was no wonder that Karen was also popular and even though Scott wasn't Mr. Cool, she was still nice to him.
Scott was strange when it came to people. Even if the popular people DID like him, he still probably wouldn't have hung around with them. They where, in his own words, "Savages". Scott was a scrawny, scruffy looking journalism student who preferred reading, watching t.v and movies and listening to old Bob Dylan records to interacting with people. This was why he was confused by his feelings for Karen. He had always had a problem with women. He just didn't understand them. Yet suddenly, he found himself wanting to be with her. Scott's feelings of guilt disappeared when Karen entered the room warring a white t-shirt and tight jeans. She stretched and sat at her desk and began to work.
He sat quietly in the tree and watched. It wasn't like she was taking her clothes off. He just wanted to see her. Suddenly, Karen looked up. She looked right into the Scott's tree. Could she see him?
"No, that's crazy talk" Scott thought. Karen pointed at him and screamed something. "On the other hand..." Scott quickly slid out of the tree, just as Karen burst out the front door. Scott sprinted down the street, running as fast as he could. Unfortunately, Karen was in far better shape than Scott. She quickly chased him down and tackled him. "What do you think your doing, you pervert?" she screeched. Scott's brain slid into "lie" mode. "Well, your pal Tom tossed my book into yon sapling..." He said, holding up the book in his hand. "I guess he though that I couldn't climb up to get it. Little did her realize that..." "Bull!" she shouted. "You where spying on me!"
"What?! I would never do that... what makes you think I'd..."
"Shut up!" Karen picked him up by the collar of his shirt. "I think you and I should go for a walk." She dragged Scott by the collar into her house. "Well, that's it" He thought. "She'll call the cops, they'll bust me and I'll get kicked out of school. Man, what happened to the days when looking through a girls window was considered romantic?"
Scott was so busy pondering this thought, he didn't notice Karen was leading him to up to her room. Karen closed the door behind them. Scott's mind raced. "That's democracy for you. I.... what the hell?" He looked around blinking. "Ummmmm... pardon me, but.... why am I here? I mean, I figured you would have called the cops on me by now..." Karen giggled.
"No, Scott. I'm not going to call the police. You seem like a nice guy, and nice guys shouldn't have to go to jail. After all... it's not like I was taking my clothes off." Scott almost laughed. "Still, you do need to be punished." She pushed him to the bed and tied him down. "Great, now I'm trapped in an issue of Penthouse forum." Scott took a couple of deep breaths. " Ok," he thought "a couple of smacks with a whip and I'm out of here. I never speak of it again." He didn't know how wrong he was. Karen stood at the end of the bed, looking seductive.
She turned her back and Scott eyes locked onto her denim-encased ass. Suddenly, Karen lifted her right leg and let out a giant fart! PHURRRRRPHT! Scott was shocked. Karen turned around, her hand clasped over her mouth, pretending to be embarrassed. "Oh, I'm sorry! It's the chili I made for lunch. It always has that effect on me." She walked over to Scott. The smell had just hit him.
"Did you like that?" She asked in a babyish voice. Scott's eyes watered. He shook his head. Karen smiled and stood up. She stuck her butt out and made like she was going to sit on Scott's face. She stopped with her crack touching his nose.
BLOORT! She turned. "Sorry. Man, what a funk!" She strained a little and..... Purt... BLOOORT BLOOOORT...POONT! " Oops! Did I do that?" Scott began to breath through his mouth. "Oh oh.... trying to avoid the stink?" Karen walked to her dresser and pulled out a pair of panties. She walked over to Scott, swinging the panties on her index finger. She jammed the panties into his mouth. Scott began to scream, but the panties muffled his cries. He stopped when Karen undid his belt and slowly pulled his pants to his ankles.
She giggled and climbed onto his chest, putting her butt into his face. She let out a giant BLORFT, but Scott wasn't thinking about the gas coming out of her ass. He was more concerned with what she was doing with her hands. She was stroking his cock, and it was becoming rock hard. "Mmm... ummm.... uh?" He lifted his head, but Karen let out an enormous POOORLRPHT that sent his head back into the pillow. She was still tickling his prick and he was getting close to cumming, but just as he was about to shoot his load, she pulled away, giggling, and let out an S.B.D.
"Why, Scott, if I didn't know any better, I'd say... my farts where turning you on" she said. She squeezed out a POOT! Karen Giggled like a school girl and tooted like a hippo until, finally she decided Scott had suffered enough. She started giving him a hand job and continued until he spurted. Scott sighed, contentedly. Karen turned and lay her head on his chest. She pulled the panties from his mouth. "Well, in case you can't tell, I like you." She smiled. He smiled back. "Want to untie me?" he asked. "Are you kidding?" Karen turned and stuck her shapely bum into Scott's face. "I'm just getting started."