Guts full of gas?
Bowels full of wind?
Innards full of flatulence?
Get rid of it.
No-one can hear, you're sitting alone at your computer.
So relax, open up your arse-hole and let it go free.
There's no-one to comment if it stinks. Fart along with us!

The act of expelling gas through our rear end has always had a fascination for many people. This is proved by the large number of WWW sites devoted to farting, and is one of the reasons why Celebrity farts are so interesting. 

What you have on this page are a few new considerations on the act of expelling intestinal wind, and some critical Links to the best farting sites on the WWW. 

It is not the purpose of this page to teach you about farting techniques. That information is already available elsewhere on the WWW. This page is for mature persons who know how to fart, and are interested in farting as a phenomenon of science, art, literature and music.

Famous Farters

1. Achsah, daughter of Caleb (Judges 1: 14)("As she sat on the ass, she broke wind" New English Bible transl.). The reading that led the translators of the NEB to say that Achsah farted, is disputed. Most translations say she got off her donkey. But because there are no vowels in written Hebrew, there are a lot of alternatives. I prefer to think that she let one from her back passage.
2. Claudius, Roman Emperor (10BC - 54AD) who according to Suetonius, used to fart when addressing the Roman Senate. He passed a decree allowing everyone 'the Liberty of Relieving Themselves at Table of all Distentions Occasioned by Flatulence' after hearing how someone killed himself holding his gas in.
3. Edward de Vere, 17th Earl of Oxford (1550-1604) farted as he bent to kiss the hand of Queen Elizabeth I at court. He was so embarrassed that he left England and travelled for 7 years. On his return, in the words of John Aubrey:"the Queen welcomed him home and say'd 'My Lord, I had forgot the fart'".
4. Sir Henry Ludlow, MP for Wiltshire in the Long Parliament in reply to a message brought from the House of Lords by the Serjeant-at-Arms in 1607 astonished the House of Commons by letting an enormous fart, that became so famous that Ben Jonson wrote an Epigram about it.
5. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756-1791) used to fart a lot, as recorded in his letters. Click here to read Letters to his mother and cousin , in which Mozart gives details about his shitting and farting activities. Almost certainly all those farting scenes in the film Amadeus are entirely true to life.
6. Joseph Pujol (1857-1945). The only man known to have earned a living by farting. For many years he entertained theater audiences by his flatulatory activities. Click on the name. Here is a picture of M. Pujol, engaged in his most popular trick. He is bending forward to let a fart that will blow out a candle.
7. Leon Purkasz (1842-1942), forgotten Polish Fart Artist. New page by his descendants.
8. Adolf Hitler is thought to have become a megalomaniac from constantly dosing himself with anti-flatulence pills.
9. Muammar Gadaffi, President of Libya. Well known for farting when being interviewed by Western media correspondents.

Farting in Music, Science, Literature and Films/Television

Both Mozart and Purcell have written songs about farting. Mozart's famously scatalogical Letters describe several farting incidents. Among writers, stories and treatises about escaping anal gas have been written by Mark Twain and Salvador Dali. Excerpts from Mark Twain's famous story: 1601 about farting at the court of Queen Elizabeth I, are available on the WWW. Another interesting literary work is the poem Strephon and Chloe by Jonathan Swift, about how Strephon, used to thinking of girls as pure and beautiful is amazed when his new wife farts on their wedding-night. Of course, farting figures very extensively in Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. See my Literary Links page. Among recent authors is Serge Gainsbourg. His book Evguénie Sokolov led one critic to say that he is an artist who helped to put the f back in art.

There is a good page about the scientific aspects of flatulence (gas in the guts) which discusses the matter objectively without the common illusion that farts are full of methane and thereby combustible. It includes the famous section from The Merck Handbook of Diagnosis and Therapy, which classifies farts according to their noise and/or odor. It is called What Professionals Think.
For persons anxious about whether they fart too much, visit the Medical Advice on Intestinal Gas Page.

Why Farting is better than Sex

1. You can fart anytime, at will, even in public.
2. You can fart alone, just as enjoyably as with a sig. other.
3. You don't need to shower before farting.
4. You can almost always have multiple farts.
5. A guy can fart, and be ready to fart again immediately.
6. A girl doesn't need to/can't fake a fart.
7. You can't get pregnant/aids from farting.
8. You can share a good fart with a whole roomful of people without having to actually touch any of them...
9. There's no need to wait for a guy to get an erection before he can fart.
10. After you fart, your girlfriend is not likely to ask you the dreaded question: "You mean, that's IT?!"

The Odor of Farts

Benjamin Franklin was the first person to suggest the scientific study of fart odor. In his famous Letter to the Royal Academy of Brussels, available on the WWW, Franklin suggests an intensive campaign of research to eliminate the problem of the stink of farts.As he points out, farting is only antisocial because of the foul odor of shit that accompanies an anal emission. Without the stink a fart would be like a cough or sneeeze. Franklin suggested fundamental research to tackle the problem of intestinal gas odor. That was 200 years ago. Recently the problem has been approached in a more superficial way, treating, as physicians rather than scientists do, the effects rather than the cause, as the following news item testifies.

Wind of change in the technology of underwear A doctor in America has invented a gadget to solve the problem of what he calls "human intestinal gas odour". At the annual meeting last week of the American Society of Colon and Rectal Surgeons, Michael-Levitt, associate chief of staff at the Minneapolis Veterans Administration Hospital, demonstrated a device incorporating a charcoal seat to remove sulphurous gases, which he said were the key offending ingredient. In tests, subjects wore a pair of airtight Mylar underpants, connected via an exhaust tube to a charcoal cushion, Levitt said other volunteers who were asked to evaluate the cushion reported that it was was entirely successful, although at present it can be used only by stationary subjects. "We are working on a portable version," Levitt told the conference. "But the best solution is probably to prevent production of the sulphur gases inthe first place. It may come from the foods we eat, but we can't say which foods people should avoid." London Daily Telegraph, 2-7-97

The above investigators found that the main sulfur-containing flatus component was hydrogen sulfide (1.06 (0.2) mumol/l), followed by methanethiol (0.21 (0.04) mumol/l) and dimethyl sulfide (0.08 (0.01) mumol/l) (means (SEM)). Malodor significantly correlated with hydrogen sulfide concentration (p < or = 0.001).

For further details of the scientific aspects of the above work on fart odor, click here.

Note that you can purchase a similar device to that mentioned on the WWW. Visit Flatulence Filter.

Digitization of Smells getting nearer?

Creative Labs is in the final stages of development for their newmulti-media PC card, the SmellBlaster64. The wonders of digital technology have finally reached your bathroom. By digitizing the aroma components of any input smell, it can recreate them via onboard mixing of scent chemicals (the "ScatPack" is user-replaceable just like an inkjet cartridge). To create your own fart files (new *.GAS format) simply insert the sampling probe into yourrectum & *cut loose*. GAS files are fully MIME-compliant & e-mailable. Of course, the SmellBlaster also embeds the original audio event in 64-bit sound so that when a GAS file is played, it's the next best thing to being there! Make 'em...collect 'em...trade 'em with your friends! I've been kindly granted a distributorship for the SmellBlaster64 by the good people at Creative Labs, and am now taking orders! The cost is a very reasonable...ummm... $300, yeah, that's it. But quantities are limited until production gets fully ramped-up, so if you want one send me your orderTODAY! RIGHT NOW!! (Cash & money orders only): 'SmellBlaster' PO Box 39 Arleen TX 43291 (Don't forget to specifyVESA or PCI)

Or you can E-mail me at coprologist@farts.com

This page last updated: 26 November 2003, by Coprologist.

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