Warning: This page is smelly, and you may find it offensive. There is no sex, but there is a discussion of bathroom activities. If you prefer to leave now we will not send you to Disneyland.
At this site we speak plainly about bathroom topics, and hope to include advice that you should have been taught when you were very young, before you learned bad habits as a teenager. What we do in the bathroom is a topic of great interest to many people, although a large percentage of the population is embarassed to discuss such topics.
Most bathrooms are pleasant places to sit or stand and relax as you clean or relieve yourself. The best bathrooms are equipped with bath, one or more washbasins, shower, toilet and bidet.
But often the bathroom becomes smelly. This is because people use the toilet, and using the toilet can be a smelly activity. You can use the toilet to relieve yourself in two ways.
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Farting is the expulsion of gas/wind/air from the anus and is a necessary occurrence when you are doing number 2. The turds do not exit from the rectum without gas escaping also. But farting into a toilet bowl is not usually noisy, the sound is muffled by the enclosed surroundings, and often all one hears is a hissing sound. But unlike shitting, which happens once or twice per day, you can fart at any time. Indeed it is the only anal activity that can be carried out fully dressed and standing up!
To the extent that it takes place anywhere, farting is not a specifically a bathroom activity, and so is only marginally relevant to this page. But because it is smelly, farting is regarded as a bathroom activity.
There are two major types of fart, and also an intermediate category. Some farts are noisy, and we can call them "Thunder from down under". Other farts are perfectly silent but are accompanied by a nasty smell. These we call Silent but deadly, (SBD). It is this type of fart that gets farting a bad name. If a rumbling noise or even a rip-roarer from the anus was all that farting involved, it would be as, Benjamin Franklin pointed out, no worse than blowing one's nose. Generally it is the silent smelly type of fart that is an indication that you need a shit: "A fart is the cry of an imprisoned turd. ". But the noisy fart is often completely odorless, and merely embarrassing (but not offensive) both to the farter and to others present. Of course some farts are both, and it is also this element of unpredictability that makes us reluctant to fart in public. The Worldwide Web is a rich source of fart-related material, and a good collection of links can be found on Coprologist's Fart Links page.
If you would like to participate in a survey on farting habits, Click here.
Our toilet activities can often be useful. Eskimos can use such activities to catch fish! If you don't believe me, download this PowerPoint file: How Eskimos Really Catch Fish. If your browser is appropriately configured, it may open directly on download. If not, then make sure that you save it in its original format and then open with MS-PowerPoint.
Last updated 7 February, 2002 by Coprologist
