I have been called many things and taken many forms. I have been named totem, wraith, fetch, guide, spirit, angel. I have been seen by men as a bear and as an eagle, as floating light and unburning fire. Here, in this fold of space and time, I take the form of a Panther and I guide a Sentinel.
I guide, yet am not Guide. This Sentinel has a Guide, although he thinks he is alone. I watch and I wait for my charge to arrive, but he is slow to travel to me. I have even appeared to him, to encourage his journey.
He pretended he did not see me, of course. I have studied men and their ways and I know he noticed my presence. I jumped atop the coffin and sat as if to guard the shell of the Guide within. He saw me, though he tried to deny it to himself.
The Guide left him a recording, instructing him to find his way to me. The Sentinel has resisted. He has resisted doing all that those around him have suggested. He forgets to eat, neglects himself and does not allow himself the comfort of sleep. He sits in his darkened den and replays his Guide's recording. I must show myself again.
I land upstairs in his sleeping area and stalk silently down the stairs. He has not noticed me yet. I wait until the tape comes to a halt. As the Sentinel reaches out to rewind it, I growl softly. His head snaps up and I stare into his eyes as they widen in surprise. I hold his eyes with mine for several seconds. Without looking away, I gather myself and leap toward him. He scrambles back a bit, but it does him no good as he is not my target.
When I land, to his eyes it would appear that I have disappeared into the machine that holds the message his Guide left. I have leapt to the Place the Sentinel sees when I guide him.
I watch him now, with eyes he cannot see. He stares at the machine for several minutes before flipping the tape over and starting it again. He sits back and takes several deep breathes as his Guide's voice comes from the speaker and coaches him.
I turn my attention to the clearing around the temple steps where I lay. It is not long before he enters the clearing. I rise on my haunches to greet him. We must speak so I change form to model the way he appeared when I first began to follow his progress.
"Why?" he asks. His voice seems raw and desperate.
"It was time." A general answer for a general question.
"And why bring me here?"
"It was time." I am patient, as I must be.
"Time for what?" He is not as patient.
I turn as another presence enters the clearance. A wolf bounds in beside the Guide as he joins us before the temple.
"BLAIR!" Joy and grief flicker across the Sentinel's face as he embraces his friend.
"Easy, man! Easy!" The Guide's laugh floats around us as he hugs his friend back.
"Wha-... I... oh, God, Chief!" The Sentinel struggles for words.
"Hey, it's all right. I just had to let you know. I can be here for you, sometimes. But you have to look for another Guide. I can't get you out of a zone from here, man."
"But how? How is this possible?"
The Guide chuckles. "I'm not sure. But I think that there is less difference between the panther and whatever I am now, and between you and me, than we have always thought."
The Guide turns his head slightly, as though listening. I, too, hear what calls him away.
"Jim, I have to go. You have to stop what you have been doing. Or *not* doing. Little things like eating, sleeping... bathing." He smiles gently. "Remember what I told you on the tape. Life! You have to start living again. For me, if not for yourself. Other people can leave legacies of money, put their names on hospitals or libraries, start a charity. I couldn't do that, but if I can get *you* or Simon or anyone else I have touched to live life more fully, then I consider that my legacy. It's all I have, man. Don't let me down."
The Guide's form begins to shift and he becomes a small forest creature with rings on its tail and a mask over its eyes. It sits up and chatters briefly before scampering off into the trees.
"A raccoon, huh, Chief? I should have known. " The Sentinel chuckles and looks back over to me as if suddenly remembering I am still here.
"Your guide is wise. A Sentinel cannot protect his tribe if he only looks inside himself. You must begin to look outside, again. To live." I say this gently, yet firmly.
The Sentinel purses his lips in thought. He nods at me and begins to withdraw from the clearing. As he returns to his body, I again watch with eyes even he cannot see. He stretches limbs that have held the same position for too long and rubs his hands over his face. He looks around his living area with eyes that are newly opened to his recent apathy.
The man walks to the phone and punches in a number. "Simon? It's Jim. Can we talk?"
My work here is finished... for now.
END
Author's Note - I know Blair was represented by a wolf in Sentinel Too. But this story was written before I saw that episode and, quite frankly, I think the raccoon represents Sandburg's personality much better. Wolves are loners, silent, serious. Raccoons chatter, are full of mischief, bounce with energy and are social animals. I rest my case.
Many thanks to my beta readers, who did wonderful work on this. They soothed my nerves and gave me alot to think about. Any mistakes in this are mine, not theirs.
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